it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
