I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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