I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
