He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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