I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
bring money and cleavage
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
