i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
