nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
