last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
