omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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