Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
