either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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