can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
