I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
