Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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