I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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