Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
