dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
