Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
