Heybabeimwearingurpanties
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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