I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
