i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
