at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
