it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
