dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
