Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
