mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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