i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
