one two three fourrrrnication!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
A bitchslap is in order.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
