it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
