Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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