We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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