so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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