Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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