i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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