and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
