I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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