yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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