Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
