I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
