This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
