Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
