Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
