using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We got so high we made milksteak
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
