I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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