That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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