You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
