absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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