good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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