the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
