oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
