Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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