While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize