Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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