Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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