one might say we're banned from that church
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
