She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
