well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
