I'm gonna have a badass scar
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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