And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
