Sponge bath it is.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
