question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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