why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
