You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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