i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
