i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
