you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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