i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
