Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
