so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
