Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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