I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
